#this is the first drawing ive made in a while.... ive been so busy..... i needed something simple so bad omg

[mikanferno]

two hours to my birthday 🎈

[amorisxx]

Snickerdoodle a.d.

pairing: Art Donaldson x reader prompt: Imagine being that parent who always brings baked goods to the PTA meetings and generally getting along with everyone really well. But for some reason Art Donaldson says something that rubs you the wrong way one night. warnings: smut 18+, car sex, piv, cheating, adults acting like horny teenagers, flashbacks, not proofread word count: 2.4K a/n: I wrote this in one sitting just from seeing this post 🤭

part ii | part iii | part iv | part v

𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃

He notices he’s offended you by the way you stop talking directly to him, looking everywhere but him. Smiling at everyone but him. You’re giving your undivided attention to anyone who speaks but when he opens his mouth you seem much more interested in your nails.

Art has known you since he's been coming to these meetings. He knows that you offer a polite smile to everyone, but he'd grown used to the small smiles you'd give him. The secret grins and the sarcastic eye rolls you shared with him when Nancy got a bit too controlling or when Dan overshared about his marriage.

You would playfully nudge his elbow when Cynthia inevitably brought up her small knitting business. You’d been initially interested, always loving a good sweater, until you found out the only things she knit were small replicas of pets.

You would discreetly play tic tac toe or hangman on a napkin while the more aggressive moms argued about where to host the next school event, or when the guest speaker for the night would drone on and on.

Once, you baked snickerdoodle cookies and Art ate three of them in one sitting, then asked to take some home for “Lily.” So, you made sure to bake snickerdoodle cookies almost every time you brought snacks. Everyone knew the circular red tin you’d bring was Art’s.

The two of you didn’t really talk outside of the PTA, but Art considered you his friend at these things.

Which is why he should've known not to bring up your recently divorced ex-husband during the meeting. He’d simply been trying to make sure the headcount for this year’s Fall Fest committee was right after Nancy had thrusted the clipboard into his hands. He was tasked with making sure everyone on the list was still showing up. When Art asked you if your husband would still be attending, you went silent, your lips tensing up like you’d tasted something sour.

“Are you really asking me that right now?”

Art stammered. “I just wasn’t sure…”

You scoffed at him disbelieving.

“Well when he finally gets his head out of that whore’s ass then maybe he’ll be able to let you know.”

He doesn’t say anything.

Before he hands the clipboard back, he makes sure to draw a line through your ex-husband’s name.

Art tries to apologize after the meeting is over. Insisting on walking you to your car and carrying your dessert containers back for you. His self deprecating little smile makes you roll your eyes, but you turn for him to follow you anyway. You silently lead the way to your car keeping a couple steps ahead of him. Despite his attempts to look away, Art’s eyes stay glued to the sway of your hips the whole way.

Once you pop the trunk and gesture for him to place the containers down, you finally look him in the eyes for the first time since he’d pissed you off. Art shoves his hands in his pockets, telling you he’s really sorry for what he said. That he wasn’t thinking. He wants to make it up to you.

You purse your lips, look at the way his eyes seem hopeful yet a little too pleading for an offense so small. You tilt your head to the side, taking in his features before eventually telling him that “it’s fine,” and that you forgive him. He seems to visibly relax at this and you can’t help wondering why he would be so hung up on your forgiveness. After all, it was really an overreaction on your part.

You tell him as much and reassure him that you don’t need anything, he doesn’t need to make it up to you. He grabs your hand then, insisting that he wants to.

Art has always been this way, you think, all placating and overly apologetic when he thinks he’s done something wrong. You’d chalked it up to the media training you know he must’ve received. Being agreeable probably made his PR manager’s job ten times easier. Not that you didn’t believe he was genuinely a kind person, but you knew even Art might be overcompensating every now and then.

You’d seen the way he could be snarky without remorse before. The two of you would basically laugh about it later. You’d also seen how he never hid the way his eyes would linger on your cleavage. The way he’d give you a small, bashful smile when you’d catch him, his smirk only growing wider the more you blushed.

Art Donaldson could be sneaky.

ᯓ

He’d never been ashamed about being touchy with you. Placing a warm hand on your arm or back when greeting one another, letting his fingers skim your hand on the table next to his while he listened to speakers. The touching seemed innocent enough until one night when he’d walked you to your car after the two of you had stayed longer. You had been distracted during the meeting.

Art stayed and listened as you told him about your husband and how he’d come home late after you planned a romantic evening for the two of you the night before. You made sure your son was at your parents’ house, made his favorite meal, and lit candles around the house. The two of you had decided to schedule date nights per your therapist’s suggestion. When 1 am rolled around, and your husband had returned none of your calls, you scraped the food into tupperware containers and got ready for bed. He came home with apologies and excuses about getting caught up in the office. He had already eaten, and he smelled of a perfume you didn’t own but had grown to recognize.

That night, you told Art that you were sure your husband was cheating on you. He told you that he understood how you felt. You didn’t believe him. Tashi was perfect.

After your tears had dried, and Art managed to pull a few laughs out of you, the both of you decided it was time to call it a night. You moved to give Art a casual hug, but he wrapped his arms around you so tightly that you couldn’t help but melt into it, burying your face in his chest. You remembered him smelling warm, like amber.

Art had rubbed your back as he held you, whispered that he was sorry that your husband was a dumbass. You huffed out a laugh, pulling away to look at him. He’d brought his hand up to your cheek, his other hand on the small of your back. You smiled at him through your eyelashes before letting your head drop down with a sigh.

Your cheeks burned as you took in how your legs were tangled with his. Art had tilted his head to get a better look at you again, but you’d stuck to hiding your face against his chest.

He huffed and let his chin fall to your shoulder. You still refused to look his way, turning to watch some trees. You felt both his hands on your back now.

“What are you thinking about?” He whispered.

“That we said we should go home like 5 min ago.” His hands traveled lower. “You?” You asked shakily. You could feel his breath warm against your neck.

“That I might not be any better than your husband.”

Your eyes widened. Art’s palms firmly cupped your ass. In contrast, his lips were pressed gently to the skin of your neck.

“Art!” Your hands flew to his hair.

He laughed into your neck.

You slapped his arm, but when his eyes met yours and his lips were mere inches away from yours, you let your eyes flutter shut.

His breath fanned your lips. He smelled like snickerdoodle cookie.

Then, his phone rang.

Art had pulled away from you, turning around to answer the call. You could tell it was Tashi. He’d been honest, telling her that he’d stayed late talking to you. At the mention of your name, he paused and looked over his shoulder.

“Tashi says hi.”

ᯓ

The two of you never brought up the almost kiss again, but you knew Art hadn’t been sorry. The next time he saw your husband, he’d smirked and told him how lucky he was to have such a great wife. Your husband, ever the narcissist, soaked it all in, pulling you in by the waist, showing you off like a shiny toy. When he turned away, Art had winked at you.

ᯓ

So, you know that Art is either laying it on thick or feels extremely remorseful about reminding you of your cheating ex-husband.

When he grabs your hand, insisting on finding some way to make it up to you, you see a look of desperation in his eyes that looks new.

Your eyes drop to where his large hand covers your own, then they travel up his toned arm until you find his face, flitting between his eyes and his lips. And for some reason, you’re leaning in. Maybe it’s your way of reassuring him that you guys are good. Either way, he’s not moving back. You’re gripping his forearm with your free hand and suddenly your lips are on his.

You’re not sure if it was his tongue or yours that first went seeking out the other, but now you two are sharing sloppy kisses on the empty school parking lot.

When his left palm presses into your cheek and you feel that cold metal band sting your skin, you pull away with a gasp, remembering where you are, who he is, and that he has a damn wedding ring on. This is Art. PTA Art. You know his wife, for god’s sake. You’ve hosted play dates between their daughter and your son. You carpool with them. You curse and back away from him.

“I’m sorry, I—I don’t know why I did that. I shouldn’t have...”

Art shakes his head, stepping closer to you. He’s looking at you with those damn eyes again. Like he’ll break if you say the wrong thing.

“I—we, we shouldn’t have done that, Art.”

He shakes his head again. Your palm comes up to hold him back, but it doesn’t work as he simply grabs ahold of the hand on his chest and presses himself against you more. His forehead comes down to lean on yours. His eyes closed.

“You don’t understand,” he sighs. “I want you.”

“But you’re married Art…”

“I want you.” He repeats. “I’ve wanted you…for awhile now.”

And though you already know this, it still shocks you that he’s actually saying it now. Before you have time to register it, he’s back on you and you don’t know if it’s because you’re afraid to break him or if you’ve just always been this selfish, but you let him press you against the trunk of your car. You let him push his tongue into your mouth, let his big hands knead the flesh of your hips and ass. Let him lick and nip at your neck, nibble on your earlobe.

You let Art push you into the backseat of your car. You let him settle between your legs, guiding his lips to yours, wrapping your legs around his waist.

He’s pressing his hips into yours rocking against you as he pushes your top up. Art’s hands frantically work at your bra, impatiently bending the wire in the process of taking it off. You gasp at his eagerness but can’t say anything as he’s already wrapping his mouth around your nipple making you arch your back up off the leather seats. His hands are gripping your thighs and shoving your skirt up when he releases your nipple with a pop.

He’s up long enough to tear his shirt off and for your equally impatient hands to reach for his pants. His shorts are barely past his balls before he’s back on you. Kissing all over your lips, jaw, neck. Art groans when his fingers find their way to your soaked underwear, rubbing his thumb from your slit to your clit through the fabric. You whine and rock your hips into each movement. You pant into his open mouth as he pulls them to the side, letting the air hit your bare cunt. He dips his thumb into your entrance then drags it up to sloppily circle your clit.

You’re moaning loudly into his mouth, begging him for more. Art smiles against your lips as he takes himself in his hand. He lets his head sweetly kiss your sticky clit, and he asks if you want him to put it in.

You nod eagerly.

"Yeah?" He grunts, tapping his head against you in a taunting manner.

You nod again and let him press against your opening.

Art covers your mouth with his when he finally pushes into you, stifling both of your moans. He gets his arms around your waist, holding you as he rocks into your pussy. You’re whimpering and squeezing around him like you haven’t had dick in years, and Art thinks he might pass out when you start bucking up into him and begging him to fuck you.

He doesn’t even care that he won’t last long. He can’t deny you. So, he wraps your thighs tighter around his waist and pushes himself forward. Your mouth falls open as Art slides out and pushes back into you with a grunt. Your hands are in his hair, pulling at the short strands. You mouth at his jaw as his thighs slap against you.

Art buries his head into your neck as he frantically fucks into your tight hole, and he’s whining that he’s close. His fingers that have been playing with your clit are slippery with your juices and you clench your thighs, nodding with him in agreement.

You end up letting Art Donaldson cum inside you. You let him rub your clit until you orgasm around his dick that’s still buried in you.

You let him help you redress. He’d winced when he saw the mess he made of you between your legs. You ignore the way you can tell he wants to say sorry.

Once you’re both dressed and you’re standing against your car with wobbly legs, Art tells you that he still wants to make it up to you.

You roll your eyes.

“Good night, Art.” You get into the driver’s seat.

“I’m serious.”

Your hand hesitates on the door handle. You look back at him and his pleading eyes and his pathetic yet charming smile.

“Your wife has my number.”

And then, you shut the door.

𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃

a/n: reader reminds me of Anna Kendrick’s character in A Simple Favor, sweet but also kinda toxic

thanks for inspiring this @artdcnaldson <3

[employee052]

doodle dumps for september

ive been so busy recently but ive got some doodles i havent shared outside of discord servers so here ya go (plus my words on some doodles from left to right per row)

also i cant remember if i posted any of these but if i did, whoops aksjhd

this one was my first attempt at colouring with my new prisma coloured pencils askjhd, i aint good at it in the slightest tho

narry and ford glass exchange, narry has the stronger perscriptions tho ;-;

taken during a lecture

:]

:P

:) >:D

i like going into fantasia and playing dress up with narry it gives me outfit ideas aksjhd

this is one variant bc originally i was gonna make it a full piece, but i got stuck on the accent colour, this is just one version

i had gravity falls drawing ideas n wanted to put some to narry, see his reaction here

little stanley n his bucket :3

i got a hair cut rip the rat ponytail call me gordon freeman sdlkjh /ref

i dont like not drawing narry in a while, i missed my bestie, made this as reassurance

WIP divine art design doodle back when it was just all white outfit narry with wings

WHOOPS ITS GRAVITY FALLS STAN AND FORD INSTEAD OF STANLEY PARABLE STAN. PINES PINES PINES!

another doodle done in a lecture, i really do need to pay attention

"im gonna show my best friend squidward narry to EVERYONE in town, wearing a salmon suit!" /ref

doodles of me trying to make divine arts face look different from narry's

sort of a final iteration in terms of hair and face, he looks similar to narry still, but with some small changes so hes his own person, might render this fully later tho

doodle of edgar (edgars from @/bucketfullofstrawberries (i already shared this with him on discord so im not gonna tag skdjfh))

done in mspaint aksjdhkjh

[rosemarybunnie]

AHHHH sorry ive been so busy! Just got to see my mom for the first time in half a year and christmas had me running around like a chicken without a head 😭😭 heres the Savanaclaw boys Genshin edition!

Leona just might be the laziest yet the most cunning member of the Children of Echoes! Hardly a time the other members of the tribe dont see him lounging about on the surface, soaking in the sun! Yet he somehow always stays on point with his work and skills.

I thought Geo suited him perfectly and was the closest reference to his unique magic as a vision! And Polearm because its similar to the main choice of weapon in the Sunset Savannah ! I dont imagine hes related to the chief or anything but perhaps his family is a long line of warriors who have held ancient names of especially famous fighters but Leona perhaps didnt get one? So hes ostracized from his family despite his hard work and dedication growing up. I like to think he actually gives Kachina tips on her training, part of him is jealous that she has an ancient name yet is so meek but he sees how people treat her regardless and grows a soft spot for her!

Also totally hangs out with Xilonen, its the law now, they have to be besties. I wrote somewhere (where ever those notes are please return to me 😭😭) that if Mualani thinks hes being too rough and mean eith Kachina that she'll dump water on him- good luck Leona!

RUGGIE

GUYS I CANT WAAAIIITTT TO DRAW HIS DESIGN. Somehow the one I'm most excited for (aside from Vil's 👀) he just looks so cute 😭🥰

Ruggie i made a member of the Scions of the Canopy! It feels pretty fitting in my opinion? Theyre all about thrills and action over there, Id imagine Ruggies slick nature and jack of all trades talent would be perfect for them!

Hes pretty easy going but that doesnt mean he wont try to swindle a traveller or two for some money or food while they travel to the city- ah but leave it to Kinich! He'll make sure to set him straight whether he likes it or not. Those two grew up together after all! Now i wasnt sure why, but Pyro sword felt perfect for him! Does he have an ancient name? I havent decided yet, if he does itd make for an interesting dynamic between him and Leona? 🤔 If he didnt then theyd both be two pouty babies about it XD

Regardless I love him so much-

Lastly, Jack! Who if you mightve noticed ISNT from Natlan! Instead I chose to reference his childhood home (didnt do that for everyone ofc- but its fine-) and I made him from Snezchnaya instead!

Oh and yes, he is a fatui member! He resides under Capitanos command though which is how he finds himself in Natlan for the mean time! The Captain's Blood Hound is what they call him amongst the troops. Fiercely loyal and strong to boot! No matter what Capitano chooses to do with his mission, if he sticks to the Tsaritsa or trades sides for his homeland, Jack will follow him without a moments hesitation. Definitely a soldier the others look up to! Some say theyve seen him spar almost on the same level as a certain Harbinger near the same age as him! Or that he is long time friends with the late La Signora's right hand, Vil (*wink wink* just a small sneak there for you guys to look forward to-)

Safe to say he quickly becomes a legend among the regular fatui soldiers. Same as Ruggie, I went with a vibe and his vibe said Cryo Claymore! Claymore for such an obvious reason- cryo itself tends to be in relation to family and loyalty (if you squint-) so it clicked in my brain, it could add to possible backstory you might hear whenever i get to his final copy!

Let me know what you guys think! Im sorry ive been gone so long 😭 ill try to post the next doodle set in the next few days to make up for it! And currently as final copies go, theyre gonna take much longer to do since theyre my complete artstyle and ive also decided i hate myself enough to attempt designing personal weapons as well! Currently ive completed Ace and Deuce is 70% finished, i just have to finish coloring him. It will only be flats color, rendering would take even longer- but this way if there are any other artists who wanna do fanart they could color drop the flat colors perfectly! (Or wing it, i dont mind either way-) As soon as the doodles are all posted ill start bringing in the final versions for you guys!

[thefurriestofchows]

woah psychonauts art in 2024

if u just wanna look at the art and scroll ur good to do so :] if u wanna know where i’ve been, read below!! 💖

soooo, hi!!

i know, its been awhile since you’ve properly heard from me. i’m sorry :((

i got into psychonauts near the end of HS / beginning of college, and between COVID, graduation, and all the major changes in my life, it was an amazing place to just make art i loved and explore stories with the characters i love :]

as time went on, i began to step away from here to focus more on college and my work

i also got into different things since then! Barry, HLVRAI, just to name a few

i haven’t ever forgotten my love for psychonauts, not for a second, in fact, my inspiration for coming back here was watching a play through by a new streamer i found

watching someone react to it for the first time just made me fall in love with it all over again.

and now, here we are

i graduated, and now i’m fresh in the world trying to figure out what to do with my life

I’m currently figuring out a job and all that gross adult stuff, but even now in time of great change, i’m drawn back to the world of psychonauts

now the big question — what about the riptide au?

i’ll be honest: i reread riptide, there’s parts i like, parts i didn’t, and parts i completely forgot what i was setting up for

ive matured as a writer and storyteller since riptide’s conception, and i think it needs a refresher / boost

i think you can already see that from tholomew’s design — i tweaked a few things while i was drawing it (especially his shoes oh my god i had no idea what i was doing with his shoes before)

i haven’t forgotten any of psychonauts, even as my life heads in different directions. i think, right now, i’m gonna clear out my inbox for a fresh start. if you have any questions about the new riptide au, i’ll try to answer them when i have a spare moment in my day 💖

but yeah, i’m not dead, just got so busy and caught up with life i disappeared for a bit

but here i am again! four years later

but yeah, thats about it, thank you for sticking around :]

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

hiya! so I was thinking about Peter Quill with an artistic reader (in the form of headcanons) bc omg i think that'd be absolutely adorable and ive been going in a spiral for him lately

Just a thought! You dont need to do it if youre busy, have a great week!

hii! omg yes I love it. and don’t worry me you and everyone else feels the same way😭 ive been defending him in comment sections for years so im glad he’s finally getting recognition he deserves. big up quill. I also did this first, as it was a fun sorta break in between other writing. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌 have a great weekend also. xo

headcanons/ imagines (2)

Peter Quill x reader (gn)

warnings || none

masterlist + rules

taglist

- he doesn’t always have the best attention span, but when it comes to you he could watch you paint/ draw for hours. it’s something that keeps him entertained

- he likes to ask questions/ communicate while you work “that’s cool, what does that do?” or “how did you do that?” feel like he’d be mesmerised watching the canvas come to life

- you both listen to his music while you do anything artsy, the combination is the best of both worlds

- but if he’s not watching you/ hanging around at the same time, you like to listen to his music so it feels like he’s still there. he’s silently caught you a few times and it makes him feel special that his music means so much to you

- he definitely brags to the other guardians about how talented you are (like tony and thor talking about their girls in age of ultron)

- I feel like he can be a great helper- if you’re at the easel, he stands next to you holding the things you need so you don’t have to keep bending/ reaching etc. or if you need a brush cleaned, he’d do it for you

- if you wanted to do pottery, he’d get rocket to make you a pottery wheel, whatever you needed, rocket will make

- if you live with him in his apartment on knowhere, he’s moved his things about so that you could paint by the window/ designated a space/ area for you to work at (he remembers watching bob ross a couple times when he was a kid, so he used the tips he learned and put them into practice for you)

- if and when he sees any kind of art materials on other planets, he definitely brings them back for you. over a while you’ve acquired quite a diverse set of tools that’s broadened the quality of your art

- I feel like he’d kind of pimp you out- would put your name out there to get more people to commission work from you

- you’re now the go-to that people come to when they want new things for their houses. a majority of people on knowhere have probably bought work from you

- you’ve made pieces for every guardian, something specific and detailed that has meaning to each individual (kind of like the holiday special) you’d be very creative and intricate in tailoring the work to the person

- mantis absolutely adores what you made. nebula was apprehensive at first but you caught her smiling when she thought you weren’t paying attention. drax goes into great detail when he describes what he loves about it, always using crazy big adjectives. rocket said he doesn’t care for art, but the way it’s displayed in his apartment tells you otherwise. and groot was super happy to have something made by you

- quill has treasured everything you’ve ever made him, he can be very sentimental so all the work you made is something he deeply appreciates. something minuscule you made at the beginning of the relationship, is kept in one of his memory boxes (like a flower made of tissue)

- maybe you’ve made things to honour his parents, using stories he’s told you into creating something beautiful (two separate pieces- one of meredith and one of yondu) they are something he has hung up and displayed in his apartment. I feel like it’s helped him deal with his grief- and over time he’s been able to look at the artwork without feeling sad. now he can smile when he sees their faces

- its definitely made him fall harder for you

[akemima]

Hey folks!! It’s been a while since ive done any wh content ikik, living its being a nightmare recently! So things have been going slow for the past weeks. Don’t worry tho!! I will absolutely finish the eddie promptlist,, whenever my brain starts working again <3

I think its the perfect moment to show yall some of my wh ocs!! My brain has been full of thoughts abt them recently!

So there we go!

Ricardo Ramos!

(info below!)

Ricardo Ramos is a very glamorous, over the top musician! He’s an all-in-one kinda guy; he can play music, dance and sing! His design is notoriously inspired by Tango culture, he plays the Bandoneón (Not an accordion. Never call it accordion. He will get offended and he will Not shut up about it) (…but yeah its a fancier looking accordion). He had a special segment in the series where he would teach You and the neighbors about the various rythmes and music genres around the world! When he wasnt doing that though, he was just vibing in Home along with the neighbors.

He’s also argentinian! Although he has'nt got back there in a while. He travels around the globe spreading music and being all charming and whatnot! Very busy! He misses his home a lot tho, so if you happen to name Argentina even once he Won’t shut up. That’s another thing! He wont shut up period. He loves talking and telling wacky stories about his trips (half of them are usually lies!). He constantly talks about how he used to study alongside the best known tango musicians on earth, and how he personally met every single one of them. He is, of course, lying. He didn’t even study music! Everything he knows is self-taught babey!!!

Of course Ricardo would have never visited Home willingly. Hes more of a city guy anyways. He drove into the woods while getting a shortcut to get to another city, his car crashed, he carried his RV to the nearest town (Which was Home) to seek out for help, however absolutely nobody there had any car! It was like cars never existed. How weird! And when he tried to get back into the woods to get his car back, he realized he had no idea where it was! Almost as if it dissappeard. How weird! And this odd town is on the middle of nowhere! Hes completely lost, not knowing how to get out, even if he tries his hardest! Almost as if it was impossible! How! Weird!!! But the neighbors are cool and the town is pretty so. Oh well <3

These are some sketches/silly drawings i drew when i first made him! And also his RV, which is inspired by el barrio de La Boca in Buenos Aires, which is his hometown <3

Oh! He also had a fiancé! They couldnt keep up together tho, things happened <\3

(Tw horror, stitches)

[onlyplatonicirl]

boom explosion. guess what its been 2 years since i came into your ask box to bother you about blogverse!!! as usual its the roleplayer behind the first lorelcest kid Oleander, Mercury, and most importantly to me, Bv!Shandyo

genuine apologies if you dont enjoy these! thats pretty fair and i get that it didnt affect everyone else as strongly as it did me, i just feel like its important that you know how much youve affected my life positively.

so, i was a bullied, neglected kid with unsupervised internet acess when blogverse happened (still a kid just less, woo!) and blogverse, especially your blog was probably the only part of the internet that i genuinely believed changed me for the better.

the sense of belonging, escapism, and the opportunity to create a character and show them to others like me was incredibly beneficial for me as a person and an artist in the long run, and to this day making OCs, writing, and especially drawing are passions that i consider deeply important to me- passions that blogverse and its community didnt exactly start, but they played a big role in fostering it. i know you just accidentally one day made an entire community that lasted two months but i cannot stress to you enough that it changed my life and i cant thank you & queenie (unsure if they still go by that, sorry) enough for it.

I also majorly admired you (and many others in a lot of the communities you associated with, but especially you) greatly as a person, artist & writer!!! you were my art goal and while that's changed as ive grown, striving towards this goal nurtured a hobby that i now know was/is a special interest to me.

while probably seeming like minor interactions with some kid who didnt know how to write a consistent character to you, to me your patience, kindness & continual creation of art genuinely helped me retreat from my abusive home life, gain a sense of belonging as a bullied autistic child, get better at art n writing, & grow as a person. i still lurk in communities like blogverse, but bv was my first and forever will be cherished in my memory.

so yeah. the things you do affect people whether you think so or not, and while i dont majorly interact with your content anymore, i hope youre well n you keep being great. :)

I want you to know that I’m at a friend’s house right now and she’s cooking herself dinner. I’m reading this paragraph and I literally start tearing up in front of her and she asks me what’s wrong 😭😭😭

Legitimately I feel like I have somehow won at life, like I won a lottery, because I don’t possibly know what I did to deserve messages like this and it makes me feel so amazing to know that I have positively effected the life of another person. That’s all I can hope for in life, and I can feel how much heart went into this letter so I’m trying to respond in turn

Even though at the time of all of this I had just around turned 18 years old, I was still very much a kid who was also trying to escape from a less-than-ideal home life. I never expected an audience when writing tcoti, it was purely my own self-indulgent passion project with my own hyper-specific headcanons. The fact that other people resonated with it so much and it created so many other inspirations as completely unexpected and absolutely baffling to me. I could have never seen it coming in a million years. It changed MY life for the better to know a my own silly utmv ideas literally inspired like. Countless others

I’m also going to share this post with Queenie, because they NEED to see this. Blogverse was her passionate project and I think to know you were as touched by it as she was and loved the writing is amazing. Also I’m showing Slime. @cosmic-chronologer look at this post with your eyes. I didn’t contribute with the writing as much as I should have because of how busy I was, and the real masterminds behind the project go to Slime Queenie and Achro. I hope they see this message!!!!

Thank you for telling me about the positive impact me and the others have had on you, it genuinely makes me so happy to hear. I’m SO happy you’re still continuing to create!! Most of my utmv friends back from then have left the fandom obv but I’m still in contact with most of them :) it means so much to me that you told me, because otherwise I would have never known how you feel!!!!!

I wish you have been well all these years. I loved all the ship kids you made :))))))

[matoitech]

Do you have any robot/mecha ocs?

i do! currently only have set designs for three robot ocs but i do have stories w mechs on the backburner in my head so ill probably have mech designs eventually. idk if theyll function as 'ocs' though. anyway onto the robots. im less confident w designing and drawing them then ur typical furry so i dont draw them as much as my other ocs, but i do love them! i have some art wips of them rn actually

Level is prob the best robot design ive done, i love her sm shes awesome. i rly like how i did her plating! she was originally a public service bot but quit her job to transition and live her own life. she changes her own paint job somewhat frequently so her colors can be modified if i feel like it. she doesn't have as much backstory as Zag below yet altho she was made first (i went into Zag knowing his backstory and general personality and i didnt for her) but i love her

Zag is Level's boytoy mechanic thing, id post his ref w the text but its Huge and barely legible on tumblr so its just in his th link lol. he was a professional botfighter (think the equivalent of like a famous wrestler or boxer, but more violent) but he's retired now, and he works as a robot mechanic. botfighters are created and designed to look cool and interesting and be 'characters' the audience can root for if they're the equivalent of a face, or hate if they're the equivalent of a heel, so while he looks different now (his contract wasnt renewed with the company that made and used him since he was made for a womens [robot] league and when he came out as male they were like um okay. we dont have anything to do with you goodbye) he still looks cool. even cooler now! he doesn't service his own body as much as he does other bots. also usually he wears clothes just .. again the whole big ref has so much small text..

Kaski only has this concept ref so far that i did recently (small text, sorry, easier to read on th where u can zoom) but its a street racer dragon robot! lives in the same universe as Level and Zag. hopefully ill get better art of it fullbody out eventually. its speech is a little hard to understand if ur not a robot bcuz the inflections tend to be placed wrong since its speaking cut up from completely different songs (and voices) it has access to anything downloadable

i also have another robot oc ive been tossing around inmy head lately but he doesnt have a design yet, ill be excited to reveal him when i got something! :-) and i do have some art id like to finish of these three eventually. maybe i can get to that when im less busy lol

[callibones]

hello!!! 🩸🟪 again. sorry for asking so early in the morning--i know you said you timed your last poast so i would see it so i feel bad for changing my hours but i had some extra free time. in the future you don't have to time your responses if you dont wanna. i peruse your blog at least once a week or so so ill probably find things ! and i dont wanna bother you first thing, thank you SO MUCH for that injoke guide! i'm like lvl 500 autistic so i had trouble figuring them out naturally. this makes things sm easier.

second thing... you have a bill cipher fictive? that's inch resting. i think i might also be plural too but i'm kinda off and on about it. but when u said that i looked back at the post they made and it was tagged with a #👁️? and then i looked at your other posts and there's a few tagged with a #👑. and your posts are usually tagged with #callie.txt.exe. so i thought hm. so i don't make any mistakes--what's your bill cipher fictive's name? how many people are there? is callie around the majority of the time? this is probably invasive so you don't need to respond to any of this JKHJBGVFCDXRCFGVHBJKNHBGVFCDXCGHBJKNHJBGVFCDGFVHBJ. also ive definitely Won and have obtained zero shelled feelings ever absolutely.

third. I LOVED OIL AND WATER!!! thank you sm. i haven't finished reading through all the other fics you reblogged though so when i do ill send you my thoughts on all of them in a different ask. you are so Based but not in a weird way in like a cool awesome way. fourth. i.. do rlly wanna dm you but my main thing is that i kind of Lost access to my main account a bit ago? idk how i was just stupid and Forgor

so ive been slowly trying to rebuild it on this new one. problem is, it's not Done yet. i'm worried im going to dm you and it will be Incomplete and you will forever perceive me as a Flawed, Unfinished version of myself. it would simply tarnish the wonderful 🩸🟪 brand, you know?

so i think.. if i do dm you, it'll be in a little while. i'll probably create a dedicated sideblog for the occasion when i do, ok? i do wanna hear you yap in a more controlled environment.

last thing i swear. so this actually has NOTHING to do with anything else you said but im like freaking out. so i checked your youtube channel and i noticed your description.

television for a head.

this is cool and all and your sona is SO AWESOME but this also Sucks for me because this ENTIRE TIME i've been drawing you as a computer! i have so much callibones fanart of you as a fucking desktop where it's like nested so your monitor has a little desktop assistant that is also you and it goes on forever and ever and ever with even smaller callies and that idea was WRONG!! i shouldve known from the antennae but i thought that was a bug thing not a tv thing (which, by the way, excellent choice on your part. when i'm not an assembly of shapes, i do enjoy being an insect.) but i was a FOOL!!!

so this makes me realize hey wait what else am i getting wrong? this thing is colored differently in this image than all the other images. what's the correct thing to do? and i came to the conclusion that i need to just ASK YOU! (wow who could've guessed. you're so smart.) yeah! i am! the smartest in the whole world even

if you happen to have any, i need reference sheets of your sona. if you have reference sheets of the alternate variants (or are those headmates? i saw one was called calliope and i think there was a bill cipher one so is that the fictive? i don't know but i want to draw them) those would be appreciated too. i have made a grave error and i must resolve it immediately.

with that. um. thank you for humoring me, id like to thank all our sponsors for getting me to write this ask, i will join the discord servers and message you one day because i am Not Afraid of Anything in the Whole Wide World. toodles

HELLO 🩸🟪! hope i didnt keep you waiting too long.... wanted to finish my ref first! PLUS i got a whoooole buncha busy goin on so im SUPER occupied.... but now i got time just for YOU! i definitely didnt time this one im just postin it now that i Can.... but im sure you can use the tag and your weekly browsing skills to find your way back here. hehehehe.

SECOND: very observant! yes, while we haven't made an official post for it, calliope uses the crown emoji and calcifer uses the eye emoji! that's his name, by the way. in fact, here's the whole gang, labeled with NAMES & PRONOUNS!

("who the fuck" is me, sorry. hehehehe.) (putting the id on this one out here so its easier. from left to right, you got:

the commissariat (she/they) in red, in a fancy longcoat with a jacket makin a serious pose

me, callie (it/fae/she) in green, in my usual "have a rotten day" top that shows my bra a lil and my short skirt

calliope (she/thon) in purple, wearing thons over-the-top storm supervillain dress

calcifer (he/she/it/they and it insisted on including "calcifae/calcifaer" as well) in yellow, with a suit, a shorter skirt than mine, a sword, and the bill cipher triangle-eye pose

and callyris (she/it) in pink, with short-shorts and a crop top fully showin its maintenance panel.

i'm around the majority of the time, but there's five of us includin' me and Calcifer! he's more than just bill cipher, btw. he's he/him lesbian bill cipher! hehehehe. he's also like genuinely growing as a person and i'm REALLY proud of him. also it's okay i have shelled one feelings too. calcifer says you're probably pretty easy to take advantage of and should call her.

THIRD: YAY! cedardivine, who made that peanutiel story, JUST made a separate post the other day with all thons blaseball writing. so GO CHECK THAT OUT! i sure plan to. :-D

FOURTH: cmon you dont gotta brand. EVERYONES flawed and unfinished! including me! im fucked upppp dont put me on a pedestal. im incomplete too!!!!

FIFTH HERES MY REF!!!! i made it just for you (genuinely!) so you GOTTA show me your fanart now because omg? omg???? omg???????? you made fanart of me? sobbing and crying??

also youre KINDA right about the desktop assistant thing! i fuckin love the nestedness so much and theres definitely some stuff where i imply that! but thats because.... so the actual sona is a desktop assistant virus thing. but fae takes on the appearance of a tv-head bot! so when fae's in The Real World fae uses a Made Physical version of that same cartoony self to walk around in. and on that robot's an OS running... the actual desktop assistant! so while it's not infinitely nested, you're right that my reality is Layered. i wonder if it could go deeper than that....

theres not a lotta art of the others YET but heres SOME FUCKIN AWESOME ART MY WONDERFUL FRIEND OF RIGORMARCY DREW OF THON so lookat that.

and here's calcifer's never-before-posted discord pfp, just for you:

calcifer sez: THERE'S MY CARD! GIMME A RING IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A NEW DEITY TO CHAT UP. THE SHELLED ONE MAY BE DEAD, BUT I'M AROUND FOREVER! FOREVER.

so. do what you will with this information.

IN CONCLUSION please send me your fanart if you wanna and feel like it because thats SO AWESOME that you made some... literally misty eyed.... ill look forward to your next correspondence whether i know you as 🩸🟪 or as whatever your name is on whatever platform you wanna reach me with! feel free to shoot me a friend request on discord if tumblr aint workin for ya. tell em 🩸🟪 sent ya! because that's you. and you can send you. But not in the mail, unfortunately. 1984.

UNTIL NEXT TIME GOOBY!!!!

[w98pops]

TW: SUICIDE MENTION, VIOLENCE

i knew i said i would take a little break, but ive been mentally declining a lot and drawing my silly guys is my way of coping. I never actually properly drew Wendy from 2301, so im filling in the blanks.

I'd like to think of her as a person who never actually... grows up. She just kinda gets taller and more sad over time. Wendy was always very vulnerable but cheerful, and House kinda groomed her into a serious and politically aware person, still unbelievably vulnerable but a viable subject nonetheless. I always had this problem with writing her relationship with another canon character, no one realistically would give a fuck about her and her opinions. Sure, maybe Arcade will pity Wendy because she's "stupid" from a neurotypical point of view, but other than that, she doesn't have any weight in any political conversation that's going on in the Mojave. So I made her really fucking stubborn. Annoyingly so. Wendy just... gets the job done. She's resourceful, efficient and very easy to manipulate. A perfect fit for a House's courier, I think. She doesn't question his orders, she does not care for consequences as long as she has House as her cover (a trait she inherited from her step-father) and she's sometimes sociopathic and numb to voices of empathy. Not in a "edgelord murder killer girl" way but more like. She doesn't see people who hurt her as humans. A coping mechanism that would probably be the end of her, sometime in the future. I mean, she did confront Benny and got really physical. There was no way she could've win a fight against a grown ass man, and Benny did beat the shit out of her, but in the end he was the one with a cracked open skull. I just like to think that her pure madness and helplessness was enough to fuel her mind and overpower something she had no chance against in the first place. SPEAKING OF CHANCE. That's why I think she would totally get along with Chance, the Khan from the comic. I don't really put a thought about how he would've survived or joined her, but they're pretty much soulmates. They have very different backgrounds, personalities, literally anything, but Chance recognises her rage. Her inability to do what's right and the constant fight against unfightable (?) circumstances she's facing every day. I'd like to think he's autistic too. As a treat.

So yeah, she's super uncertain about anything in her life, and that makes her a very useful tool in the hands of a right man. Mr. House mastefully manipulated her personality in a conventional way, taught her the secret and mysterious knowledge of "masking" and sat her down for a few years to teach her ways of the capital and created this really sad but smart and charismatic politician with no real political voice whatsoever. She's also very cute and sweet looking so yeah. He made himself a Tandi. 😭😭 Also he scanned her brains, which would totally not be a big plot point for the future.

Almost perfect, but Sharky is here too, for some reason. He's the biggest pain in the House's ass since Benny. He has a certain emotional intellect, not easy to bribe or manipulate in mental or physical way, he really fucking cares for his sister, and is very aware of the things The Big Guy does to her. See, Sharky wasn't raised by his sister, she was a child herself at that time, and his mother didn't play much role either, too busy bickering with Aletus and then later too busy drinking and fucking in Gomorrah. Sharky was raised by the Strip and the rules of Wasteland. He might not be the smartest guy alive, but emotionally he's mature beyond belief. He's very observant, empathetic and cunning person. Even tho he was mute most of his childhood because of child neglect and untreated autism, he has incredible social skills and a Yes-man in his basement he found while renovating the Tops. He has a plan. Not a good one, but a plan nonetheless.

I have so much OC material I'm ought to write a fanfic. Or a comic, idk. In my dreams, sure, but it's still refreshing to talk about my ocs and draw them, and recieving feedback and praise for my storytelling skills 😭😭😭 it means a lot. Thank you all for reading this far!!!

[suckishima]

okay so i know i posted a few weeks ago that i did get to see the haikyuu movie when i was in japan last month and ive been so busy i didnt fully have time to process lol so ive been writing down thoughts as i remember them so, spoilers under the cut (no particular order)

final rally pov shot was craaaaazyyy (sidenote i saw challengers today lmao and they did a similar pov shot thing a couple times and it reminded me how sick it was to see such a complicated thing be animated)

in addition to that tho, while i liked the drop of the music then to just have it be kenmas breathing, i felt lie his breathing seemed a little repetitive?? like it was possibly just the same couple voice recordings repeated???

and also tbh.. i kinda didnt love how after the super amazing pov animation the way they chose to animate the full court flashback to tokyo training camp was just like a flat pan around the room. it just didnt feel all that dynamic after seeing something so cool, and maybe it was just my screening but the image was kinda blurry and not that crisp at that part

in general tho i thought the sound design was really cool, so much of it just straight up felt like a live match happening, and the part when kenma tells hinata to stay interesting and the sound cuts out?? ooo v effective i thought

and then the birdcaaaage aaaah i loved the way the wings like got all stifled in the cage when kenma first trapped him and then ofc the bursting out of it oooo im excited to see it again in imax

there were a tonnnn of small moments that i assumed wouldnt make the cut that actually did too, yaku sitting on lev's back when he's doing pushups, the bokuto/kuroo hair swap flashback lmaooo, goshiki having to share his ipad with tendou (i cant remember for sure now if he actually says that or not but theyre definitely in the movie), bokuto and akaashi coming over and talking to yachi and ah i think theres more. a lot of them were shortened down a bit, but i appreciated them getting attention nonetheless. sadly no kuroo/lev poop conversation though lmaoo

i thought the kuroo/kenma flashbacks were pretty good as well, i think they possibly added a few lines?? it seemed like there were more frames of stuff of kuroo being inspired by the "lowering the net" concept which was really cool bc thats really integral to his character to me. and then theres this line where kenma is like "hinata has kageyama and i have kuroo" and uhhhh that is news to me!! im like 90% thats new content lmao, and oooo it was good, the shots they chose with it too gooood

oh for some reason they changed how kenma flops??? he falls with his butt up in the air instead of just flat??? like why lmao, obviously that was like an Actual Choice they made bc they had to draw it and obviously had the manga as reference and it makes no difference other than to confuse me lolll

im interested to see it again distributed by crunchyroll too bc im sure some of the subs i saw werent right, a few lines just didnt make sense and there were a few instances of like "lead blocking"

and okay. i gotta talk about the chapter 298 stuff

its there its in the movie!! but,, it's watered down lmao

and i think i was also too in my head and overanalyzing it which im disappointed in myself for so im hoping on rewatch ill have a better time

the "hes always been one step ahead of me after all" was like as perfect as it could get tbh, it looks just like the manga and tsukki like says it just right and yamaguchi comes onto the court behind him totally focused and aaah really loved it. then the service ace and tsukkis little laugh it really good

but then i'm torn on the actual serve and block, there's no inner thoughts on yamaguchis "oh no the ball isnt drifting enough" and then tsukkis silent reply "no that was plenty" before stuffing it, so we arent hearing their like mind reading/intuition connection there which was a bummer. and thennnn im not positive on this bit but i dont think anyone repeats anything about the serve and block being the perfect play?? (its yamaguchi echoing ukai in the manga) and then no little flashbacks to how theyve been training

HOWEVER the big main flashbacks of seeing how yamaguchi walks from behind tsukki to in front of him are there!!! and the way theyre presented is interesting? i was like taken aback by the decision to have the clips being showed within their silhouettes as they move toward each other (i couldnt even tell thats what it was at first tbh..) that i missed whether or not all the panels were in it..... (majorly disappointed in myself for that one). idk visually i found it a little confusing i guess and so i couldnt fully appreciate and im hoping itll look cool on rewatch when i understand whats happening

and then the high five ahhh it was pretty good, idk if anything will ever live up to that manga panel for me, the joy and success and sense of achievement in that image means so much to me lol, but its animated fairly well. do wish they didnt cover tsukkis smile tho

then kuroo asks how tsukki feels about volleyball and he says its fun and he smiles and its.. fine. like ugh its just one of those things were this entiiiire section just slightly suffered from being a two minute segment of a movie instead of a whole episode (or even just half an episode tbh), like something about his smile and saying it was fun just fell a little flat for me and i was unfortunately a little sad about it, i was hoping for a little more buildup and like emphasis. this is a huuuuge culminating moment for him and it didnt quite feel like it to me bc the movie had to have other priorities where a season wouldnt have

later one when tsukki and kuroo are like battling at the net exhausted tho and tsukki smiles again that was pretty good, the animated is really top notch when theyre all panting n stuff, and the voice acting there was great, really liked it

[surlifen]

guide to surlis sonas

aka an excuse to Poast Images and drone on because I love to do that!

current main sona I think and closest to a truesona: this otter guy who remains unnamed because all the names that are my name have already been used at this point LMAO

art by nepeteaa and by me! I'd honestly draw him more often if he weren't hard to draw? surli was easy because. Fox. (and Generic Thin whereas my body type is, while still pretty thin, specific in a way that's hard for me to draw) and honestly I enjoy drawing him more oTL.... otters are super hard to stylize cutely + in a way that looks Like Me... surli does not look Like Me teebeehaiche

surli fennec surlifen main sona of the past and still like... kind of me it's complicated

imbages by jilf and vhsdruid

i kinda ended up disconnecting from his Design as a Whole and the alt palette didn't really fix it but nonetheless he's never leaving my possession. it's weird cause my brain can really only connect fully to one character per Thing/Setting as a Sona who is Me so ever since splitting off into otter I don't feel FULLY connected to either the way I once did to surli :( but I am experimenting with having multiple sonas and maybe ill try that thing people do where they also do sonas for different Aspects of themselves so I don't just have an army of Normal Nice Blonds

pokesona: liam

art by me, cicadaghost, me

not much 2 say he is me pokemonned! he's much Smaller Cuter than I am and I really enjoy his simple design + imagining him in the pokemon world :3 like what berries he'd like best and what specific cities/landmarks he hangs out at... hiking in ilex forest and visiting the national park yk

lee: bunny....sona....?

art by me, purrker

he was a bit of an experiment in "CAN I have more than one fursona?" and also "CAN I make a sona who isn't Exactly Like Me?" i've always seen people whose sonas have Supernatural Elements and been like how can you do that. I respect it so much but if EYE am a normal human person how can I connect to something with strange abilities and qualities. and I still couldn't go so far as like... my friend whose sona is an honest to god several stories tall kaiju with a backstory and shit, but lee has supernatural luck and a connection to/control of storms/lightning because that's sick and awesome and cool. and also glows and has cool antlers when he wants. he's not as me as the others but he's there and he's not... NOT me?

fucking... willie dustice, silver city "self-insert" joke guy

unfortunately I DO love his stupid ass. you know how sometimes in a comic or animated show there'll be some obscure reference to one of the creators or someone on the team like as a gag that goes over most people's heads well he's supposed to be that. his appearance is me at my worst (needs haircut + shave) and he has the OP superpower of putting people in pocket dimensions of altered reality he controls entirely but he ONLY uses it to make stupid filler bottle episodes like They All Have To Play Softball or Beach Episode or whatever. represents my oft-abused ability as a creator to Put Those Guys in a Situation. he's not so much a sona (cause if I made a silver city sona it would be genuine not this greasy freak) but he sure is Representative of Me.

horse: horse

i was challenged to make a horsesona. I don't plan to do anything with him but kept him around because I liked his design. someday I might make a more natural horse sona for in case I ever joined some kind of equine rp setting or some shit equivalent but for now my sparklehorse

spinxynsona: coast

art by capricorne, me, me

coasty woasty... made for the nephfei world for the spinxyn closed species. first closed species sona ive ever had and i think hes neat! nephfei is such a well designed world that is really conducive to stories and characters influencing each other's arcs but coast is just some guy he's just there. he just lives there and minds his own business. (he has no gifts or curses so nothing really requiring a Story) but maybe i should get him some Friends at least maybe i can have a sona who has Story OC Friends from other people and still be like yes thats me if i was friends with everybody's ocs

dnd character who was based on me: august

art by me, thembodino

it was suggested since I have a very hard time being In Character (i get so self conscious) that I start with a character similar to myself! so august is incredibly Just Me FR. if i were to go on an adventure i would be bad at it and terrified. his campaign is suspended due to Life but i accidentally, due to knowing nothing, picked a pretty OP blend of stats that has made him bizarrely competent (not like. the best in the party or anything but he really can hold his own and once like critted twice and turned invisible and flew and killed a dragon) and honestly that's hilarious and I like it for him

that's it! the rest of my characters are just characters not sonas though I still love them dearly, some of them even more than some of my sonas i won't name names though ty if you made it this far. i love to Talk

[frasermints]

here is a a bullet point explainer of my top surgery day (like when i was actually in the hospital) because i feel like if i had something like that i would have been less horrifically life-endingly anxious

day before:

we drove to the city it was in because we were staying with family and wanted to get settled. we left around 10 ish? in the morning and it took us 3 or so hours to get there with all the bathroom stops we made

i received a call from my surgeon's office at 10:30 in the morning giving me the time i needed to show up at the hospital. i was to show up two hours before my surgery time (5:45 am ; 7:45 am), and i was first on the schedule

we showed up at my cousin's house and got settled, i was fasting as required and took my special soap shower at around 9pm. i needed to show up at the hospital at 5:45am but my cousin lives less than 5 minutes away from the hospital so i could afford to go to bed late.

day of:

i woke up at around 2 and went back to bed at around 3:30, woke up at 4:30 and took my second hibiclens shower. i got dressed in clean clothes and we drove to the hospital at 5:30 am

we had never been to the hospital before so we fucked around and found a place to park. we walked in and were confused until we looked around and found check-in. they didn't ask for ID or insurance, just my name. they scanned my advanced directive and medical power of attorney, told me to wait in the surgery waiting area, and told me that someone wld come find me! i was also given a hospital bracelet with my real name on it not my government name which is cool.

we waited for a little bit. there were two other people there. we were all in pajamas. it was great. the waiting area was full of local indigenous art. i wish i would have taken pictures now.

a nurse called my name and verified my date of birth and that i was there for gender affirming double mastectomy. she took me and my mom back to the preop area and took me to a preop room with a bed.

i was weighed and given a urine sample cup for pregnancy testing. this sucked bc i was NPO for like 12 hours and dehydrated as fuck but if you still have a uterus and ovaries you will have to do this.

she gave me a six pack of hibiclens wipes and instructions on how to do the surgery wipe down. neck to toes. one for neck and shoulders, one for chest and torso, one for back, one for arms, one for legs, one for groin and glutes. there r details on the paper. this is recommended but not required depending on ur surgeon. u do it urself. ur nurse does not touch u.

u put on ur gown and then ur given an IV with saline. i was given an oral anti inflammatory and 1000mg tylenol with a teeny bit of water. this is when they blew the valve in my hand. i COVERED my preop nurse with blood and almost threw up. it was great.

she went over some mental health questions and some physical health questions - are u depressed when did u last eat and drink etc. they were concerned because i hadn't eaten solids since the ninth and my surgery was on the twelfth but it was okay.

they asked me who my favorite music artist was because apparently listening to your favorite music while in surgery improves recovery outcomes. i blanked and then told them my chemical romance and the 1975. i hope they enjoyed that whiplash of a mix.

i was taken down and my mom was kicked to the waiting area. the elevator broke and we had to wait. awkward.

i sat in the real preop bay and started crying. got rly nauseous. a preop nurse gave me a puke bag and opened my fluids completely. i think this is where the additional damage to my arm happened but we're not sure. she was really nice but REALLY busy. she needed help lol it was just her for four people :(

she came and verified my name and date of birth. she gave me these sleeves that squeezed my calves to prevent blood clots. she put a warming blanket on me. she gave me consent forms to sign. she moved me to a private corner so my surgeon could draw guidelines on my chest. she put a scopolamine patch behind my ear and then dipped to do more work. love her

my anesthesiologist came by. she asked me my pronouns - the only person to do so (they're charted but still)! she checked my heart and lung sounds and complimented my lung capacity. she asked me what my fears were regarding anesthesia and told me that i was safe with her. she read over my consent and my preop EKG i got in weeks prior. she said that she considers me zero risk and that she is unconcerned which was a big calm down moment. she went to go do pre surgery things.

my surgeon came by. he unhooked my warm blanket and had me stand up so he could draw lines on my chest. he double checked my consent papers and then put me back under my warming blanket and gave me my puke bag back and then went to go do pre surgery things.

about 10 minutes later i was being wheeled into the surgery room. this is around 7:45am. it was actually REALLY close to preop. and it was very cold.

they had me put myself on the table. i was introduced to the rest of the surgery staff. they were literally all women. so cool. my head was going to be sitting on this jello bundt cake looking thing. i laughed and pointed that out. then i got hooked up to an oxygen mask by the anesthesiologist and it smelled like playdough. i commented on that and she laughed and that's the last thing i remember before

i woke up! i was groggy as fuck. first words out of my mouth in recovery were "oh that's exciting, i woke up" and the recovery nurse looked Very Concerned. she was nice to me. she also sprinted when i asked for a puke bag.

i was there for about two hours. one asleep, one awake. they needed to watch me eat and not throw up and i Succeeded and i also needed a bed to return to, which they didn't have.

my surgeon came by to check on me, said i did great! i don't remember much of this.

i went back to the same preop wing at, like, noon-thirty ish. i got to see my mom at one. my postop nurse was a SAINT. he monitored my immediate pain levels and the instant it got above a four he tried to get me pain medication, but was stonewalled by my surgeon.

he got me more food. i had like 12 ounces of apple juice and some cheese and crackers. he let me look at his tattoos and he told me stories while we waited for my mom and for discharge papers.

we got discharge papers, i got dressed mostly by myself. mom gave me my phone back so i could text my friends that i was alive. mom was also handed a 10 pack of gauze with nipple cut outs and we were told to open my swelling reduction binder and change them out once a day.

i was also instructed to empty my JP drains once or twice a day depending on fluid level and given urinalysis cups to empty them into. i never got more than 12mls out of them so this wasn't an issue

you just kind of pop them open and let the oily blood drain out and shake them a little and then squeeze and close them again. yes u can feel it sucking when u close it. it's not painful just weird.

then we went back to my cousin's house! and i devoured a burger and slept kinda shitty

i was up and walking normal same day. i got up slow and did circles around her living room. it was helpful.

[poppyseedgirly]

poppet reminds me of myself often, she’s the most timid cat i’ve ever met, but the bravest too, my little sister is having a sleepover, pops sits outside the door listening to the new voices, curious girl, but i know she’d bolt if that door were to open, today was my first day off in five days, sometimes i need to keep the momentum up so i stay busy, restful too, i’ve been playing undertale again, second play through, pacifist again, and im reminded it’s such a special game to me, you don’t have to hurt anybody if you choose not too, i meet erin for brunch, it feels nice to catch up and spend time with a friend, blueberry latte, my total is 23.70, my angel number, i run some errands, i get gas for my car, the temperature is supposed to drop in the next few days, into the negatives, i feel productive and brave filling up the tank, these are simple tasks but everything i do feels like a win when i do it, i work a little bit on candles, candles are a beautiful process to me and my mind and hands, a ritual of heating the wax, demolding and prepping the molds, carving little bits and pieces to make a perfect slug dog, the waiting time while the wax cools, it’s nice to make something, i want to draw and paint again, painting paintings, i’ve been so digital with my work which is fine.. but i want to hold it, touch it, paintings, maybe.. i’ll find a way to have a show this year, maybe that’s what i need, i update my calendar for the week, liv is out for a vacation so im getting some floral days in, and it’s time to clean and repaint the window displays for valentine’s day which im excited for, i trained a new cashier the other day, she did well, it was busy, debbie says im the best trainer and she learned the most from me, she goes on and on about me to customers and calls me beautiful miss allison, i pull my glasses on to my head, my eyes feel heavy in the mornings, i joke ive seen enough when i take off my glasses, mark tells me hes never seen my eyes without them before and that they are so pretty, he has 12 cats and a cowboy bebop tattoo, kathleen shows me her embroidery book, im sitting with poppet in my lap now, we watched the new episode of severance, it was really good and made me anxious in a good way, we are moving my grandmother into a new assisted living home, her mind continues to go, she thought it was 1963, she keeps speaking about a road and a river and crossing it and why we are all here, sometimes i can piece together what she’s trying to mean, sometimes it feels like a beautiful metaphor, both make sense to me

[lilac-ravenclaw]

traces of lilacs | ch. iv - suspicions and strategies

Hogsmeade. 😉 Thanks so much for reading💜

Warnings: some cursing, teen angst

Word count: 8.5k

This is just part of the chapter, read full chapter on Ao3 - link in comments🔗 and in Bio

“Blast it you damn frog! Come back here!” Raven ran through Honeydukes chasing her newly acquired treat. Sebastian stood by the register after purchasing it for her smiling to himself. He was going to help her catch the sweet treat but rather found her struggle to be more entertaining. She finally gave up and took out her brand-new wand shouting, “petrificus totalus!” Instantly stunning the frog. The busy shop briefly went silent at the outburst then carried on about their business.

Sebastian jumped, “Was that really necessary? —” closing his eyes while pinching his nose.

“Oh, my goodness... this is delicious!” Raven exclaimed taking a bite. “Thank you so much!” He smiled softly from seeing the shear bliss on her face.

He held the door open for her as they slowly made their way out of the shop. “So, did you get everything you needed? That plant you bought was a shrivelfig right? What are they used for?” He only understood half of what she said because she was still chewing.

“Yes, it is, and they can be used for a handful of mixes. I bought it for my sister, Anne. She’s been excused from school this year from being very… sick. I am hoping this plant will help.” He ran his hand through his hair, other than Ominis, he doesn’t really like to open up with others. After the untimely death of his parents, he kept things like that to himself. He reached into his pocket placing his hand on the plant for reassurance. This must work for her, he thought desperately.

Raven finished her treat. “Oh… I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright, you needn’t worry. She’s staying with our… uncle so she isn’t alone.” He realized the mood was turning gloomy and attempted to shift it back around, “please I don’t want to spoil all the fun, what say we get some Butterbeer, and you show me your new wand again!”

Raven noticed he hesitated when mentioning his uncle. For now, she let the conversation go. They were having a lot of fun today, although still didn’t know him well enough nor wanted to pry, as she wouldn’t appreciate someone doing the same to her. The sun was starting to set making the sky look like a watercolor painting with golds, pinks and purple hues. Even though it wasn’t technically autumn yet, the air was feeling more chilly than usual. The square was full of people chatting, shopping, or sitting outside a small café drinking tea; she made a mental note to go there another time.

She spun around facing the sunset and reached into her blue blazer taking out her new wand. Everyone knows Ollivander’s never fails to find the perfect match, to which he thought her new wand was almost as lovely as her. He was honored to have the privilege of witnessing her acquiring it. Getting one’s wand is a bond that ideally lasts for the rest of the wizard’s or witch’s life and is like a rite of passage when starting school. The more powerful the connection between the person and their wand the better the spells. He could sense Raven now felt much better versus with that secondhand wand she carried before.

Even though they were with each other all day, it was then he finally noticed her eyes. As she was smiling from ear to ear showing off her new wand, watching her intently as her eyes were the most mesmerizing lavender and unlike anything he had ever seen. So far it felt like she had been subconsciously hiding from his gaze, yet now she was letting him look at her for the first time. They held a depth and softness drawing him in, like an enchanting spell he couldn't break. As she faced the setting sun, the warm golden light bathed her features in a soft glow. The sunlight reflected off her lavender irises, making them shimmer like the surface of a lake. The hues danced and shifted, capturing the colors of the sunset—a perfect blend of purples and pinks making them seem almost otherworldly.

He had never been in a relationship before, well not counting going on one date in fourth year. But not even that girl counted it as a date as it was a group gathering. When he wasn’t doing homework, he was researching cures for Anne, so there wasn’t time for such things. Yet for some reason he was going to all this trouble to be with her. Perhaps it’s simply because she was new and a mystery to everyone or how she directly looked at him ignoring hundreds of other gazes the night before. Or possibly because she was the only person who bested him in a friendly duel, especially for being a new witch. Whatever the reason, he was appreciating the time they have spent together for as long as possible.

In that moment, he felt a sense of wonder and admiration. Her eyes, so unique and beautiful, seemed to hold a piece of the magic that filled the world around them. Until he saw the expression on her face slowly switch from happiness to concern. As he was coming back to reality he could feel a faint tremble beneath his feet. The entire square went silent as the rumble was steadily growing louder and stronger. It was clear something tremendous was approaching and his instinct being to reach into his jacket equipping his wand. At that instant, a massive troll, fitted in glowing red metal armor carrying an oversized club, was charging around the corner towards the square. People panicked running away while the authorities arrived with their wands at the ready. Raven noticed the red glow straightaway as the troll’s eyes were similar to that menacing goblin. Sebastian noticed how scared she was, unknowingly as to the reason why, as he took a step-in front of her.

Officer Singer shouted, “draw it away from the buildings! Away from the village!” As her and a group of other wizards drew the troll away. The creature kept swinging the massive club as it chased them.

It was quiet for briefly, Sebastian turned to Raven asking, “Are you alright? Merlin’s Beard, what the bloody hell was that troll wearing?” Raven stood there internally panicking, then there was more rumbling from behind them. As they turned to look a second armored troll busted through one of the buildings demolishing the foundation. It had that same feral expression in its eyes zeroing in on her. Sebastian shielded her once more shouting “Confringo!” at the creature. The fire somehow rolled off its armor as it was totally unaffected. The troll was not slowing down as it stampeded towards them. Timing it perfectly, Sebastian pushed Raven out of the way before it ran into them. This made the tyrant crash into the side of another building with its club stuck in the stone wall. This allowed Sebastian to stand up quickly shooting as many attack spells as he could conjure.

“Diffindo! Bombarda! Rictusempra!” Everything seemed to do very little damage, if any at all. Raven stood back up breathing heavily watching him fight this monster. As finally freed its club from the rubble it turned its gaze to Sebastian who hadn’t stopped firing once. His advanced spells barely made a scratch, she knew a lesser spell wouldn’t be sufficient. He was clearly holding his own, but she had to snap out of this fear to help him before he is seriously injured or worse.

Quickly scanning the area, she had the idea to use the environment to their advantage. Waving her wand, she lifted pieces of the surrounding wreckage and swung it fast straight towards the creature. “Stay away from him!” she shouted, striking it in the head. This made it lose its footing and halted swinging at Sebastian, rapidly locking its eyes on her instead.

“Raven watch out!” called out Sebastian. “Confringo!” The fire spell rolled off the armor pieces.

The troll ran leaping towards her with its club raised behind him. Right before it landed, she casted “protego!” The impact pushed against the shield sending her backwards, then she countered with stupefy at the monster stunning it instantly. Sebastian was amazed at her reflexes as he continued to throw spell after spell at it. Gradually the creature seemed to finally be wounded.

“I think we’re wearing him down!” he shouted. “Keep at it!” To him it could almost feel like practice for Crossed Wands, however, with her being so new and life on the line he needed to do everything to protect her. The troll looked drained as it was swinging the club slower than before from all the debris, she was chucking at it along with all the countless spells he casted. They worked together as a team and were nearly in sync with what the other one was doing. It appeared the troll had one more final charge straight towards her during which she felt an unknown source of power emerging from her wand.

“Raven!” He panicked noticing she wasn’t paying attention. Right when the troll was about to swing at her she casted protego followed by stupefy knocking it down. There was a bright light at the top of her wand again feeling the power increasing once more. The swirls of light grew larger and larger until the power felt like an electric current running throughout her whole body. The skies above got darker and without thinking she casted a bolt of lightning onto the troll instantly vaporizing it. Even the armor evaporated as well. She felt winded as if she had carried a heavy crate up several flights of stairs.

Sebastian stood there in complete wonder with his jaw on the ground. Never had he seen nor read of such power. “Merlin’s beard…” he said quietly.

“Y’know if you keep your mouth open long enough you might catch a bug.” She couldn’t help but lightly chuckle at the look on his face, though she suspected he would have an endless number of questions. He was giving her the same scrutinizing stare from the night before making her feel tense. His stare could say a million things without actually speaking a word. Feeling the blood rush to her face she darted down one of the narrow streets away from the aftermath.

Shaking his head, he stumbled to find the right words chasing after her, “what the bloody hell—?! What was that?! How did—!” Raven put up her hands in protest for him to stop asking questions and doing so loudly. Even though the street was disserted, she couldn’t risk someone overhearing.

“Please you mustn’t say a word of this to anyone, Sebastian,” pleading while twisting her braid.

He placed his hand over his heart. “I won’t I swear. But you just… you not only obliterated that troll but the way you did it was unlike anything I’ve ever seen!” She tried walking at a fast pace but of course his strides could easily keep up.

“Look I don’t even know what that was—” he unexpectedly rushed to her placing his hand over her mouth moving them against a nearby wall out of sight. Quick flashes of that horrible night replayed in her mind being in this same situation, but before she could react, she heard voices around the corner. Sebastian was inches from her face as he stared at her putting up a finger to his mouth indicating to be quiet.

“…all you said was you needed a distraction. I gave you a distraction!” Terror flashed across her face as she recognized the voice feeling her heartbeat increasing. Sebastian moved his hand away from her mouth but stayed close to her. He cautiously peaked his head around the corner to see the strangers conversing. There were a few goblins and a couple dark wizards, one of them wearing a tall top hat. To which he recognized but couldn’t remember a name.

“I just watched a student take down that distraction. Who is she? What are you not telling me?” The man demanded.

“All you need to know is, if you cannot bring me the girl then you are no value to me…”

The stranger’s conversation was interrupted when a cat abruptly jumped on a fence next to them knocking over a flowerpot. Sebastian grabbed Raven’s hand swiftly taking off in the other direction.

“Did they see us?” She constantly looked over her shoulder.

“I hope not. By the look in your eyes, you recognized one of their voices. Who are they?” He questioned.

She didn’t know how to answer him. First the troll and now that goblin was in Hogsmeade searching for her. As if hiding from the Bennett’s was bad enough, now she nearly ran into him so soon. Surely the news of trolls attacking the village reached the school by now, so she needed to inform Professor Fig of that goblin’s presence. Sebastian could see her thoughts running wild, he lightly squeezed her hand in reassurance guiding them to the only safe place he could think of. Even though he didn’t know her very well, she was still his responsibility today and he needed to get her out of sight. He finally let go of her hand to swing open the pub doors letting her walk inside first. “Please have a seat at the stools,” he directed her.

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